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  An Illustrated Novel  

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Saint Gredible and Her Fat Dad’s Mass


an illustrated novel

by Joe Panzica

and Pere

A young girl is nearly undone by the frightful crush of history, the twisting contradictions of love, and the explosive potential of Chelonial grace.


I remembered it like it was yesterday. We was cruising through the campus of Cold Spring Harbor where they invented euthanasia and eugenics, taking another long break from the sad task of emptying the house of Abe’s father. Anyway, Abey turns to me and he says, “Stan, whadyad think you’d get if you mated “A Tinkle in Slime” by Mad Ellen Lingleshein with “The Produce Sellers” by Zero Mortedella?”


“I dunno, Abe” says I, knowing it’d have nothing to do with urine-soaked lunch meat.


“Me neither,” Avram Ider quickly quipped. “But if you work in a soundtrack by JohnPaulGeorge&Ringo, Antonio Carlos Jobim, and a wholelotta of Coltrane along with some questionable particle physics, intermingling stacks of turtles, as swell as guest star cameos by the music faculty of MIT, Simone Weil, Roy Cohn, the Waltons (who are SnotLaws spelled backwards), ANTIFA Ninjas, Richard Burton (the explorer, not the actor), Pontius Pilate, Jewy Ruinous & Dino Marchinon (The Blitzkrieg Bros), Ezra Beelzebub Pound, Archibald MacFritz Tenenbaum, Caesar’s last breath, the werewolves of Central Park, the ducklings of Boston Common, etc. etc. etc., then you can tell the stories of my Baby Greddy, her ashy knapsack, her unmissed Mudd, me, and her tap dancing grandfellow Auschwitz survivors. - especially my dear dead dad and all his unwholesome crazy kidbooks!”


“I dunno, Abe,” says I, thinking I was sorely sunk. "But that’s what fiends are for."


Then Abe sez, "Ya know Stan, if you wrote me sorry, it would be jest like "A Conspiracy of Dimwits" by John F. Kennedy the Tool."


"Yeah Abe.  Just as funny and twice as  . . ."


"Depressing . . ."


"No Abe . . . Moving!"


"Yeah  . . . movin'," sez Abe, punching down on the accelerator. Again.  And we all grabbed for our seatbelts.  Again.


Saint Gredible and her Fat Dad’s Mass


Table of Contents

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Vernal Pools of New England


The Teardrop Collider

Creating and destroying a pulchritude of universals, Streamly Gredible mischievously collides impactfully with Fat Dad 


Skates of Matter

A tense breakfast in which we meet ne'er do well Stan and are delayed from having fun at the skatepark


Holy Smoke

Some ecumenical musings as Gretty wonders where she does and does not belong


Squirrel with Pearl Earring

Zeyede Obby's Master Story where there are no rats but art can still sail you away from them


Streamly Gredible

In which poor Gretty Ider wonders about her prenuptial parents and tries, once again, to cuddle her mudder

Downtown Entropy

In which Gretty asserts herself against all  forces of nature and the universe


A Parable of Peppers

An awlkard outing in the city only gets worser


Life Is Not All Carrots and Cream

Gretty participates in the sweet sublime mysteries of creation


and the Riverbank Talks

In which Gretty wonders why it happens to everyone and why it happens to her


Extra Dimensions

Gretty, Stan, and Abe consider the state of early 21st Century workforce development and particle physics


A Box in a Box

Gret and her fat dad appeal to Boeotia and Terpsichore for partial atonement 



House of Quips


Are We There Yet?

Stan leads Gretty (willingly) and Abe (resentully) on a trek from New England to Long Island via Prohibition era Appalachia 


Under Water

In which Gretty considers all the options between sink or swim 


The Land of Kootsie Boobie

Zeyde Obby's first (and everybody's favorite) story


Only Forward

'Zeyde Zeyde' (Zeyde Z') is a disturbing messenger who punches through the morning mist



In which Abe Ider's complex organizational skills launch him again into another uneasy state of flow


On the Road Again

In which Streamly Gredible tumbles headlong down a precipitous Via Dolorosa 


Jew Barbecue

Greta Ider strives to order something off the menu, but learns that waffling in the face of creation buys no time


In the Very Same Box

In which Stan and Abey wonder whether our species will ever be great again


The Edge of the Known Universe

In which Stan and Abey regret how money can't buy belonging



The Cruelest Month


Three Generations of Imbeciles

In which Abey tunes out his traveling companions as he cruises through the twisted intersections of many musical helices


The Knapsack

In which Gretty puts down her pack


A Love Supreme

In which multiple ceremonies undergo fission, fusion, and repetition according to penultimate principles


Unlucky Lindy’s

In which Gretty stares too longingly at a lithe waitperson


Sea of Monsters

In which Abey fishes his delightful drenched daughter from the clutches of infinite possibilities


Snot Girl

In which, dragging down the Jericho Turnpike, all voices are raised high in praiseful song and shout


Butterflies Are Not Free

In which Anty Sheila helps them crash the gates of memory


Another Cut

In which Gretty meets a long lost rescued Grand Mamma



In which Gretty remembers grownups gone wild



Simmering Summer Kills


Here’s Mud on Your Thigh

Some mournful musings on mothers and motherlove


Sea of Holes

In which Abey wonders if he was put here for some purpose or something


Free Speech

In which Gretty, without a baker's boy, kneads her own dough


I’ve Been Waiting So Long

Zeyde Obby's last story


Hydration Station

Anti-Fascist  Games on The Commonwealth Green


Check It Out

In which Gretty, in a time of trouble, turns to "The Cute One"


memor rem suscipit

An extremely suscipit obit




Home for the Jolly Days



In which a year after her orphanage, Gretty takes stock of her situation


Money Shiva

A message about Zeyde Z brings home old family responsibilities


What I Don’t Know Alone, I’ll Never Forget

In which Gretty experiences author pangs and mother missives


The Weaver of Baghdad

An Obby story with multiple thumbs and fingers in the pot of authorship


Mother Love

Posthumous paternal scrawlings


We Are the Stories We Tell Ourselves

A playful yuletide pagent to shake the season's sprites


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