Are We There Yet?

Chapter Twelve

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"Then you stop snortin!"

"Never mind him, Stanzu. Jest keep goin."

"Ok. So poor MaryEllen would get knocked up every year, and they never know’d who done it until the baby was born. If it had a hairlip, it was JohnBoy’s. If it had red hair, it was Jimmygabob’s. If it had grey hair, it was Granpa Snotlaw’s. If it had six toes, it was Pa's. If it had a dark complexion, it was Sammy Dave’s. If it was retarded, it was Gilligan’s. If it came out circumcised, it was Yehudi Bitumen's. If it was a boy who dressed like a girl, it was Klinger Jim’s. If it liked matzoh balls, it was Dustin Portnoy’s. If it was very smart, it was the Professor’s who kept inventing new brews for the Snotlaws to sell and had a weakness for pigtailed farm girls.”

Page breaks in this preview do not coincide with the pagination of the published book

"Then you stop snortin!"

"Never mind him, Stanzu. Jest keep goin."

"Ok. So poor MaryEllen would get knocked up every year, and they never know’d who done it till the baby was born. If it had a hairlip, it was JohnBoy’s. If it had red hair, it was Jimmy- gabob’s. If it had grey hair, it was Granpa’s. If it had six toes, it was Pa's. If it had a dark complexion, it was Sammy Dave’s. If it was retarded, it was Gilligan’s. If it came out circumcised, it was Yehudi Bitumen's. If it was a boy who dressed like a girl, it was Klinger Jim’s. If it liked matzoh balls, it was Dustin Portnoy’s. If it was very smart, it was the Professor’s who kept inventing new brews for the Snotlaws to sell and had a weakness for pigtailed farm girls.”